I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
