Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
