garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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