im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
