Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
