Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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