ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
