I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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