you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
