dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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