Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
