carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
