I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?