they're staring at me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.