he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?