i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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