Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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