Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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