i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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