wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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