How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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