he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
