My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
