literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
