I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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