if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
