I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
