If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
