used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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