Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
