She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
