i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
