After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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