You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
