yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
