I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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