So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
