Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
