You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
