Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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