How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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