that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
