Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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