I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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