ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize