You just made me feel so damn special
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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