your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
