the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
