so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
