3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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