The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize