I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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