Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Houston, we have a squirter
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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