Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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