I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
