Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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