Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
