the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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