My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
