I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
