goodnight i made you a song goodbye
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize