8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
