found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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