I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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